Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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