i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
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