My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Randomize
