Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
