okay pat passed out under dana's car
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
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