I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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