Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
