Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Quick, to the slutcave!
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
