I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
3pm strippers are depressing
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
