I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
