so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Randomize
