Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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