you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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