They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
