Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
two words: eviction party
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
You need a sexual gate keeper
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
