I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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