how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
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