Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
