Nicole vs. Life
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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