Those balls look pretty dangerous.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Randomize
