am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Randomize
