i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
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