whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
