Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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