He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
