It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
