i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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