I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize