An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
