i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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