i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize