oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
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