Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
