saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
