The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize