I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
