I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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