She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
