I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
