in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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