tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
