he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
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