So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
