can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
