just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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