I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
