Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
