$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
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