he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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