Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
They took my balls.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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