my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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