Only a mothe r could love this liver
I smell stomach acid.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
