Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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