May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I wish i was in the wii world.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
