I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
