and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
