Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize