Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
