Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
