What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
