I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
