Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(773): View more from Illinois

Right on... I dropped my chapstick

(269): View more from Michigan

I blacked out

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(646): View more from New York

I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.

(347): View more from New York

And what brought this epiphany?

(646): View more from New York

I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later

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(760): View more from California

Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.

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(317): View more from Indiana

If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis

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(650): View more from California

i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD

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