I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
