Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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