Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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