Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
