When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
